Blog 3: Revenge of the Seth

Peel yourself away from that Steve Wilkos Show re-run, because I have some observations to make. I will make them in the form of what I'm calling a "Tourette's Breakdown", in which I will shout out (or type up) whatever pops up in my demented little mind. Go!

1. Disease names need to be clarified. I stopped eating white bread for 2 years out of fear of getting a yeast infection. It turns out that is NOT how you get one.

2. People who end every sentence with "Know what I'm sayin'?" need to be ended. "I'm lookin' to go out on Friday, know what I'm sayin'?" No, how could I ever decipher that? Hang on, let me get my 'Dipshit-to-English Dictionary" and get back to you...

3. I predict 2009 will be the year of the Kimmy Gibbler comeback. I can feel it. I can smell it. Wait, what IS that smell? Gibbler, put your shoes back on!

4. If Al Quaeda ever gets ahold of our Girl Scout Cookie supply, we're done. A Tag-a-Long tragedy could be devastating.

5. "Schindler's List" wouldn't have been such a downer had it been called "Tyler Perry's Schindler's List." Madea taking on Hitler? Almost too funny to ponder. Almost.

6. I am annoyed by hipsters who are afraid of liking big bands. U2 is my favorite band. I can live with that. Some bands are big for a reason, so stop trying to make yourself look different and obscure by citing your favorite band as "Cockroach Vasectomy."

7. I could listen to Salma Hayek read from a medical book and still be turned on.

8. Acne is not taken seriously enough by the public. It is very damaging psychologically, and is not cured by simply "being clean." I know. For five years I looked like I washed with anthrax and toweled off with a cinderblock. I looked like a Hannibal Lecter victim. I was bad. But I was clean, and it always bothered me when people would say "Just wash your face!" So next time you see someone with acne, give them a smile. It will lift their day. Trust me.

9. I'm finding that I deserve nothing, but God still gives me everything. That's a great irony.

10. The people who make history are not the ones with back-up plans and safety nets in their lives, but rather the ones who do what they have to do. Even if they go down in flames.

That is all. Back to the wise words of Mr. Wilkos.

Quote for Today: "A beautiful girl can turn your world into dust."
- Radiohead "Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong".

Current Listening: The Buzzcocks - Singles Going Steady