Blog 2: I Want Sideburns

Hey, guy at the school library acting like your researching a paper--I forgot to put up some stats about myself in the first blog, should you care. Here goes:

Name: Seth
Age: 22
I Believe In: God. St. John, St. Paul, St. George, St. Ringo.
I Like: Art people (artists?), rock n' roll music and the places it came from (blues, country, r&b), reading books about things, Forensics shows (it was the husband. It always is), redheads, watching Arnold Schwarzennegger struggle like an infant to form words, and quality movies.

Done. Now Blog 2.

I want sideburns. Not even Jason Priestley/Luke Perry sideburns. No, not good enough. I'm talking full-on muttonchops. I want to be mistaken for a Civil War general and, if they're THAT good, even asked where I got my time machine. I want to be able to call people "governor" (govna) with a straight face. Because when you have muttonchops, you can call people that and mean it. Here's the problem with me wanting sideburns. Hair does not grow on my face. I've seen fuller beards on the 16 year olds in my sister's prom pictures (narcs). To give you an idea of how often I need to shave, I received a complimentary razor from Gillette for my 18th birthday. I shaved with that razor not 10 minutes ago. That's right, I've had the same razor for four years. Not only that, but the blade is pristine. It's alright though. If this is my biggest problem, how can I complain? If I get desperate enough, I'll just resort to shaving hair from other parts of my body and Mighty Mending (glue is lame. Thanks Billie Mays) it to my face. I won't say what body part I'll take the hair from, but I will say they'll be very curly and, at times, very itchy sideburns. There may even be some deodorant left in them. Get your head out of the gutter and get back to that paper perv.

This enlightening message brought to you by--Me.